No marriage or long-standing relationship can ever hope to be perfect all the time; nor can a couple’s sex life. You may have started out with great expectations and a grand passion but the pressures of life inevitably intrude. It is possible, however, to identify problem areas and in doing so to look at ways in which to effectively revitalize relationships.
Children Problems In A Relationship
The family is a demanding unit that at times can be delightful, at other times, distressing. At best it can enrich life; at worst it can enslave its members. From the moment the first child is born to the day the last child leaves home, the lives of parents are limited by the demands and the needs of their offspring.
The arrival of children often precipitates a dramatic shift in roles and relationships. Despite the current vogue for shared parenthood, most mothers are still the caretakers of their children. A sexual split between partners might begin with the exhaustion of childbirth and the physical and emotional demands of the new bond between a mother and her baby. As time goes on, children’s demands on both parents, but particularly on the mother, begin to grow, and a parent can be pulled in conflicting directions.
The presence of children also reduces privacy. Love making becomes constrained by late nights and locked doors, particularly when the family is living at close quarters. Although adults do not need to, many hide all aspects of their sexuality and displays of affection from their children. As a result, young people, as they grow older and start to be sexually aware, may view their parents’ lovemaking with scepticism or disgust.
All In The Family – Parents
When an aging single parent moves in, it can impose unexpected strains on any family. Even the most thoughtful and sensitive couple cannot foresee how roles and relationships will be revised. There might be settling-in problems, especially if the parent comes from a different city or town and is used to an independent life, routine, and longstanding friends.
Conflicts and guilt inevitably result when one partner slips back into a childhood role, allowing the parent to drive a wedge between man and woman, or stands back while the grandparent takes over the role of bringing up the children or gives advice from the sidelines. In such a tense situation, particularly if physical space is also limited, relaxed lovemaking might cease.
Work Pressure Put Relationships Under Pressure
Work puts enormous pressure on a couple’s relationship because of it inherently stressful nature, its energy-sapping qualities, and the amount of time it claims. To tense, too tired, and too busy for sex, was once the cry of male partners, but it’s now echoed by many working women. Furthermore, with breadwinning increasingly shared, conflicts arise about the division of family responsibilities. It is all too easy for a couple pursuing their personal ambitions to become two separate, exhausted adults who happen to live under the same roof and share the same bed.
Identify Problems In Relationships
- Nagging, pushing, shouting and sulking are symptomatic underlying problems; arguing about trivia provides an excuse to attack each other.
- The problem may seem to be money, work, the children, elderly parents, or sex, but it could just be lack of communication
- Try to talk – it should have a good, if not dramatic effect
- Recognize that you have both changed and look for new reasons for love, respect, and enjoy each other now
- Examine your joint goals
- Reveal your thoughts and feelings and recognize each other’s frustrations and aspirations
- Taking the trouble to find out what bothers a partner is never a waste of time